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Thursday, February 26, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Why I Love My Job: Number 1937
I get to read things like these in physician's notes:
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was
very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until
she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job
as a stock broker instead.
25. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
I'm guilty of thinking number six upon occasion. :)
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was
very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until
she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job
as a stock broker instead.
25. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
I'm guilty of thinking number six upon occasion. :)
Monday, February 16, 2009
Liking "Ghost Hunters" Does Not Mean That I Am One
Scene: Friendly Neighborhood Workplace
Time: 3 a.m. or so.
Cast of Characters: Blonde nursing student and Brunette Nurses One and Two.
It should be noted that at work we carry phones to make it easier to answer patient calls in a timely manner. I was assisting a patient who is now known as The Woman I Hope To Be When I Retire. She and I were chatting and eating tiny Twix bars (the patients who feed me treats earn a special place in my heart) when my phone rang. She said something to the effect of "I better let you get back to work" and I bid her farewell to answer the call.
Blondie: "Can I help you?"
Caller: ::silence::
I came out of the room, and Brunette Nurse One was laughing at me.
BN 1: "There isn't even anyone in that room!"
At this point, I decided to be a smart ass. The call light had been switched in a way that required me going into the room to turn it off, and I did. But before I left, the smart ass in me decided to channel my inner "Ghost Hunter". Because I do love me some Steve Gonsalves.
Blondie: "Is there anyone in this room? Would you like to speak with me? Can you show me a sign of your presence?"
The call light turned itself on again.
There was no one in that room except me. Well, no one I could see anyhow.
BN 1 wasn't laughing anymore, and BN 2 looked like she might pee herself.
Whoever said big girls can't move fast has obviously never seen me moving when something has spooked the hell out of me in the early hours of the morning. After I hit the button on the wall that turned tht infernal light off, "vaulting the nurses station" is a pretty accurate description of my exit strategy.
Oh, and I may have flung the words "Get thee behind me, Satan!" over my shoulder as I did my little wind sprint.
Needless to say, a few co-workers have taken to gleefully tormenting me by asking me when I plan on auditioning for "Ghost Hunters".
But hey, they've gotten freaked out by the paranormal, too:
Duuuuude, run! :)
Time: 3 a.m. or so.
Cast of Characters: Blonde nursing student and Brunette Nurses One and Two.
It should be noted that at work we carry phones to make it easier to answer patient calls in a timely manner. I was assisting a patient who is now known as The Woman I Hope To Be When I Retire. She and I were chatting and eating tiny Twix bars (the patients who feed me treats earn a special place in my heart) when my phone rang. She said something to the effect of "I better let you get back to work" and I bid her farewell to answer the call.
Blondie: "Can I help you?"
Caller: ::silence::
I came out of the room, and Brunette Nurse One was laughing at me.
BN 1: "There isn't even anyone in that room!"
At this point, I decided to be a smart ass. The call light had been switched in a way that required me going into the room to turn it off, and I did. But before I left, the smart ass in me decided to channel my inner "Ghost Hunter". Because I do love me some Steve Gonsalves.
Blondie: "Is there anyone in this room? Would you like to speak with me? Can you show me a sign of your presence?"
The call light turned itself on again.
There was no one in that room except me. Well, no one I could see anyhow.
BN 1 wasn't laughing anymore, and BN 2 looked like she might pee herself.
Whoever said big girls can't move fast has obviously never seen me moving when something has spooked the hell out of me in the early hours of the morning. After I hit the button on the wall that turned tht infernal light off, "vaulting the nurses station" is a pretty accurate description of my exit strategy.
Oh, and I may have flung the words "Get thee behind me, Satan!" over my shoulder as I did my little wind sprint.
Needless to say, a few co-workers have taken to gleefully tormenting me by asking me when I plan on auditioning for "Ghost Hunters".
But hey, they've gotten freaked out by the paranormal, too:
Duuuuude, run! :)
Friday, February 13, 2009
Why I Hate Nature
As you may know, in the past six months I seem to be plagued with vaguely pathological illnesses of an almost biblical level of pestilence. Some say that it's just a bad year to be sick. Still others say I'm genetically predisposed to catch whatever germs are making the rounds. Personally, I wonder if making agar plates of potentially oog-causing microbes in my Microbiology class is the factor behind my most recent plague. Either way, I've been a whole lotta sicky and I don't like it.
Because my most recent disease (The Dread Sinus Infection Roberts) had me feeling as if I would either A-pass out from the pain and pressure or B-throw up from the rushing fluids when I lifted my head an inch or two off the pillow or couch cushion, I was pretty effectively homebound until my wonderful, amazing antibiotics started kicking some bacterium ass. I don't do well with "homebound" and would make a really bad shut-in. Needless to say, by the time I felt better I was ready to move. I didn't care where, just a change of scenery posthaste would be amazing. So I decided to take a short walk. If nothing else was accomplished by it, maybe I could swap out some of my microbial infestation for clean, fresh air and healing energy.
I laced up my Nikes, put on my coat and gloves, stuffed my phone in my hoodie pocket and headed out the door. We've had some really nice weather here lately so the sidewalks are actually passable, and even though the air was cold it smelled vaguely springy. I had to stop every twenty paces or so to blow my nose, but at that point I wasn't complaining. I was upright, outside and feeling pretty human. Nothing in the world could bring me down!
I've always joked that if you expect the worst, you'll be pleased by the best. My trip to the Great Outdoors may have gone better if I'd remembered that particular mantra.
About ten minutes after I left my house, I paused under a pine tree to blow my nose for about the fiftieth time. Halfway into my nasal trumpet rendition of "Ave Maria", something fuzzy yet vaguely solid and sinister-feeling hit the side of my head, bounced off my shoulder and landed at my side. When I looked down to see what had assaulted me via the heavens, I screamed like a horror movie star being disemboweled by an ice pick and didn't let up for what felt like fifteen minutes.
It was a dead squirrel.
A dead. Squirrel. AND IT HAD LANDED ON MY HEAD.
I kicked out my foot and did a speedy about face for home, doing a half-running fat girl hybrid waddle that left my fillings rattled and my nose dripping a snot faucet that rivaled Niagara Falls in both duration and intensity. Once I was deadbolted behind the door and safe from any more assaults by dead falling tree rats, I stripped off my clothes and tossed them into the basement, ran through the house (taking out at least one cat in the commute) and jumped into the shower. I cranked the water up as hot as I could stand it and scrubbed until I was sure I'd eradicated any and all traces of Hanta virus, mange, rabies or whatever had transformed the poor creature from "alive and kicking" to "deceased and falling out of trees onto innocent pedestrians" from my person.
To make matters worse, that night Boy Wonder brought home a note saying someone in his class has head lice. I may never feel completely clean or stop itching within the confines of this lifetime.
Because my most recent disease (The Dread Sinus Infection Roberts) had me feeling as if I would either A-pass out from the pain and pressure or B-throw up from the rushing fluids when I lifted my head an inch or two off the pillow or couch cushion, I was pretty effectively homebound until my wonderful, amazing antibiotics started kicking some bacterium ass. I don't do well with "homebound" and would make a really bad shut-in. Needless to say, by the time I felt better I was ready to move. I didn't care where, just a change of scenery posthaste would be amazing. So I decided to take a short walk. If nothing else was accomplished by it, maybe I could swap out some of my microbial infestation for clean, fresh air and healing energy.
I laced up my Nikes, put on my coat and gloves, stuffed my phone in my hoodie pocket and headed out the door. We've had some really nice weather here lately so the sidewalks are actually passable, and even though the air was cold it smelled vaguely springy. I had to stop every twenty paces or so to blow my nose, but at that point I wasn't complaining. I was upright, outside and feeling pretty human. Nothing in the world could bring me down!
I've always joked that if you expect the worst, you'll be pleased by the best. My trip to the Great Outdoors may have gone better if I'd remembered that particular mantra.
About ten minutes after I left my house, I paused under a pine tree to blow my nose for about the fiftieth time. Halfway into my nasal trumpet rendition of "Ave Maria", something fuzzy yet vaguely solid and sinister-feeling hit the side of my head, bounced off my shoulder and landed at my side. When I looked down to see what had assaulted me via the heavens, I screamed like a horror movie star being disemboweled by an ice pick and didn't let up for what felt like fifteen minutes.
It was a dead squirrel.
A dead. Squirrel. AND IT HAD LANDED ON MY HEAD.
I kicked out my foot and did a speedy about face for home, doing a half-running fat girl hybrid waddle that left my fillings rattled and my nose dripping a snot faucet that rivaled Niagara Falls in both duration and intensity. Once I was deadbolted behind the door and safe from any more assaults by dead falling tree rats, I stripped off my clothes and tossed them into the basement, ran through the house (taking out at least one cat in the commute) and jumped into the shower. I cranked the water up as hot as I could stand it and scrubbed until I was sure I'd eradicated any and all traces of Hanta virus, mange, rabies or whatever had transformed the poor creature from "alive and kicking" to "deceased and falling out of trees onto innocent pedestrians" from my person.
To make matters worse, that night Boy Wonder brought home a note saying someone in his class has head lice. I may never feel completely clean or stop itching within the confines of this lifetime.
Monday, February 9, 2009
The Haiku Fairy Sprinkled Poem Dust Up In Here
Im sick once again
Toxic sinus cavities
Pestilence abounds
Micro exam in
t minus two days. I think
I can learn this stuff.
Microbes. Kingdoms. E
Coli. Norovirus. Is
it odd that I'm sick?
First nursing test
Got a ninety-eight percent
Practically perfect!
Vapid co-worker
Thinks she's smarter than she is
Hooter's girl next year?
Your children scare me
Not quite sure what happened but
They're special snowflakes
Shudder! Don't make me
look at more pictures now
I'm ill and fragile.
Oh Boy Wonder
You are so thirteen it hurts
Fourteen-come soon. PLEASE.
Orange cat. Buzz cut.
Bonjour, Fifi! Says I, and
you seem contented.
Toxic sinus cavities
Pestilence abounds
Micro exam in
t minus two days. I think
I can learn this stuff.
Microbes. Kingdoms. E
Coli. Norovirus. Is
it odd that I'm sick?
First nursing test
Got a ninety-eight percent
Practically perfect!
Vapid co-worker
Thinks she's smarter than she is
Hooter's girl next year?
Your children scare me
Not quite sure what happened but
They're special snowflakes
Shudder! Don't make me
look at more pictures now
I'm ill and fragile.
Oh Boy Wonder
You are so thirteen it hurts
Fourteen-come soon. PLEASE.
Orange cat. Buzz cut.
Bonjour, Fifi! Says I, and
you seem contented.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Stupid Things I Have Done (Recently)
* Slipped in a puddle of water my cat had lovingly drooled from his water dish across the entirety of my kitchen while going out to the entryway, grabbed the doorframe with one hand and the door with another in an attempt to steady myself and smashed my fingers in the process. The blue haze over the Midwest? Is totally my doing and will likely be heard for generations to come, much like the WW II submarine noises that can still be heard in the ocean.
* Got involved in a (friendly. HA!) game of beer pong with a group of friends who get out and get social MUCH more often than I do. How intoxicated was I? Let's just say I was at a point where I was in love with everyone and everything and my sweet Jesus you guys are so awesome! Are we having fun? Hell yes we're having fun!
Singing "Mandy" by Barry Manilow sounded like a really good idea. Feckin' MANDY. Who sings Barry Manilow when they've got a snootfull?
Besides me, apparently.
Oh, and my liver still hates me for it and the pancreas is following her lead. Turns out you really CAN break your pancreas like I've been claiming to do all these years. Who knew?
Anyone wanna give me a chunk of liver if I need it? It's highly vascular tissue and will regenerate for you! For realsies!
* In a fit of rageyness, stubbornness and industry, emptied my entire living room of furniture ALONE BY MYSELF to prepare for the new furniture coming tomorrow. While moving the Couch that is Longer Than I am Tall ALONE BY MYSELF, I managed to flatten myself between it and the doorframe and get stuck like a cork in a bottle. After yelling feebly for Boy Wonder a few times and realizing that I'd die there and the cats would snack on me before he came to investigate, I got pissed enough that I ripped the (attached) cushions off the back of it and hurled them at the curb, earning enough wiggle room to A-get unstuck B-steer the bad boy curbside (DOWNHILL! Well, DOWNSTAIRS! anyway) and C-hoist it into a position where it would be unobtrusive to pedestrians in one fluid motion. Right now, my She-Ra Princess of Power-ness impresses me. Tomorrow morning when my gallbladder is the only thing not strained, pulled, or wrenched, I will feel like an idiot. This is why it gets moron billing.
Any of you done something really dumb you want to share with me to make me feel better? I promise not to laugh.
Well, I promise not to laugh real hard anyway.
* Got involved in a (friendly. HA!) game of beer pong with a group of friends who get out and get social MUCH more often than I do. How intoxicated was I? Let's just say I was at a point where I was in love with everyone and everything and my sweet Jesus you guys are so awesome! Are we having fun? Hell yes we're having fun!
Singing "Mandy" by Barry Manilow sounded like a really good idea. Feckin' MANDY. Who sings Barry Manilow when they've got a snootfull?
Besides me, apparently.
Oh, and my liver still hates me for it and the pancreas is following her lead. Turns out you really CAN break your pancreas like I've been claiming to do all these years. Who knew?
Anyone wanna give me a chunk of liver if I need it? It's highly vascular tissue and will regenerate for you! For realsies!
* In a fit of rageyness, stubbornness and industry, emptied my entire living room of furniture ALONE BY MYSELF to prepare for the new furniture coming tomorrow. While moving the Couch that is Longer Than I am Tall ALONE BY MYSELF, I managed to flatten myself between it and the doorframe and get stuck like a cork in a bottle. After yelling feebly for Boy Wonder a few times and realizing that I'd die there and the cats would snack on me before he came to investigate, I got pissed enough that I ripped the (attached) cushions off the back of it and hurled them at the curb, earning enough wiggle room to A-get unstuck B-steer the bad boy curbside (DOWNHILL! Well, DOWNSTAIRS! anyway) and C-hoist it into a position where it would be unobtrusive to pedestrians in one fluid motion. Right now, my She-Ra Princess of Power-ness impresses me. Tomorrow morning when my gallbladder is the only thing not strained, pulled, or wrenched, I will feel like an idiot. This is why it gets moron billing.
Any of you done something really dumb you want to share with me to make me feel better? I promise not to laugh.
Well, I promise not to laugh real hard anyway.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Facebook Plague
One of my friends on Facebook tagged me for the "25 Random Things" meme that's sweeping the site like the syph. Since I'm in a blog slump, I figured that I might as well cross-post it here so everyone can delight in the weird wonderfulness that makes me who I am.
1. I like to read. I mean, I REALLY like to read. As in the house could burn down around me and I wouldn't notice the smoke and flames if I was involved in a really good book.
2. I buck the stereotype that all women love chocolate. I prefer fruity treats to chocolatey ones. I'm looking at you, Laffy Taffy...
3. I love going to school. Well, the learning cool new things aspect of it anyway. I'm having a blast and a half in the nursing program this semester. That may change once things start picking up steam, but for now holy fun-ness. :)
4. I can burp like a champ. Think Booger in "Revenge of the Nerds". It either makes the menfolk run screaming for the hills or fall hopelessly in love with me. No middle ground whatsoever.
5. I am perfectly useless before my A.M. coffee fix. Boy Wonder has figured out that he shouldn't tell me things that are Vitally Important to the Balance of the Universe prior to my caffeination. To his credit, he has never used this to his advantage.
6. I have strong opinions on nearly everything and I'm not shy about sharing them.
7. The fact that I have managed to keep all my teeth after so many years of running off my mouth makes me grateful that I have a bit of "Bubbly", "Put On My Listening Ears" and "Respectful of Differing Beliefs" in my discrete me-ness to temper the "Let Me Share My Opinions With You Using This Here Sledgehammer!"
8. I started over completely friend-wise just over a year ago, and I've met some really great people following the Great Friendship Purge of Aught Eight. There's something deliciously refreshing and frightening about rebuilding what you know from scratch.
9. I greatly enjoy capitalizing words that don't really need to be capitalized and bestowing faux royalty titles upon my loved ones. Give me a few beers and ten minutes and you too can sound like a blue blood! A very silly blue blood, but royalty nonetheless. ;)
10. I lack the attention span to watch TV and movies. This is just as well because some of the chapters in my textbooks are like a hundred-plus pages and I need that time to read 'em.
11. Music is as essential to me as air. I'd rather buy a new CD as a treat for myself than just about anything else I could reward myself with.
12. I didn't believe in how people claimed to feel the Holy Spirit within them until I saw Tori Amos in concert. I can't say what I felt was a religious awakening but it was incredibly intense and filled with raw emotion. I left the auditorium thinking, "Yeah, THIS is what they meant when they made the word rapture".
13. I sing A LOT. I don't care if it makes me a tool, I adore karaoke and feel completely in my element when I have a microphone in my hand and some adoring public to clap for me when I'm finished. :)
14.The lone carrier of half my DNA is nearly fourteen, and I don't think I'll suffer from "empty nest syndrome" when he leaves. I love being his mom, but I'm looking forward to living life on my terms again when he's flown the nest.
15. Once upon a time I wanted four, five, maybe even six kids. Health and other personal issues have made me realize that having a singleton is in my best interest. Fortunately, many of my friends have kids I can love on to get my baby fix.
16. I want to go on a mission trip to India or Africa to care for orphaned children. My nearest and dearest seem to think this will result in my getting the four, five, even six kids I wanted once upon a time. ;)
17. I'm actually quite content being single. Life is less complicated when it's just you that you need to worry about making happy. This flummoxes many of the elderly women I care for, who seem to think that I'll simply wither and die without having a man to take care of.
18. The fact that I earnestly tell them I have my cats and dog to take care of means I'm well on my way to spending my golden years as the "Crazy Cat Lady" on "The Simpsons", doesn't it?
19. Oh yeah, and I knit. Game. Point.
20. I want to travel once I'm finished with school, and intend on spending my retirement in a silver Airstream trailer, making home wherever I choose to park for that day, week or month.
21. Every time I see an article about someone walking across the United States, it kind of makes me want to drop everything I'm doing and join them for part of their journey.
22. I have a great--great uncle who up and decided that taking off cross-country and not telling anyone where exactly he wanted to end up was a cool idea. My wanderlust makes me wonder if it's a genetic marker of some sort.
23. Another great-great uncle on my dad's side owned a resort in Green Lake. I guess Jean Harlowe used to vacation there. When he got drunk, he'd tell everyone what a "Bee-YOO-Tee-fol woman!" she was. My uncle Charlie used to drag out a monkey puppet and make it sing and dance when he had a few drinks in him. The preceding two facts lead me to believe that I am genetically predisposed to eccentricity and might as damn well just embrace it.
24. My brother and grandfather are the family members I relate the most to . My mother and I are so dissimilar that sometimes I wonder if I was switched at birth.
25. Icy cold, cheap beer and a plate of wings are a great way to end a day, however they don't lend to ending this entry gracefully. Oh well. Beer still good.
If you made it to the end, consider yourself tagged. Leave me a comment if you choose to do this so I can learn more about you! :)
1. I like to read. I mean, I REALLY like to read. As in the house could burn down around me and I wouldn't notice the smoke and flames if I was involved in a really good book.
2. I buck the stereotype that all women love chocolate. I prefer fruity treats to chocolatey ones. I'm looking at you, Laffy Taffy...
3. I love going to school. Well, the learning cool new things aspect of it anyway. I'm having a blast and a half in the nursing program this semester. That may change once things start picking up steam, but for now holy fun-ness. :)
4. I can burp like a champ. Think Booger in "Revenge of the Nerds". It either makes the menfolk run screaming for the hills or fall hopelessly in love with me. No middle ground whatsoever.
5. I am perfectly useless before my A.M. coffee fix. Boy Wonder has figured out that he shouldn't tell me things that are Vitally Important to the Balance of the Universe prior to my caffeination. To his credit, he has never used this to his advantage.
6. I have strong opinions on nearly everything and I'm not shy about sharing them.
7. The fact that I have managed to keep all my teeth after so many years of running off my mouth makes me grateful that I have a bit of "Bubbly", "Put On My Listening Ears" and "Respectful of Differing Beliefs" in my discrete me-ness to temper the "Let Me Share My Opinions With You Using This Here Sledgehammer!"
8. I started over completely friend-wise just over a year ago, and I've met some really great people following the Great Friendship Purge of Aught Eight. There's something deliciously refreshing and frightening about rebuilding what you know from scratch.
9. I greatly enjoy capitalizing words that don't really need to be capitalized and bestowing faux royalty titles upon my loved ones. Give me a few beers and ten minutes and you too can sound like a blue blood! A very silly blue blood, but royalty nonetheless. ;)
10. I lack the attention span to watch TV and movies. This is just as well because some of the chapters in my textbooks are like a hundred-plus pages and I need that time to read 'em.
11. Music is as essential to me as air. I'd rather buy a new CD as a treat for myself than just about anything else I could reward myself with.
12. I didn't believe in how people claimed to feel the Holy Spirit within them until I saw Tori Amos in concert. I can't say what I felt was a religious awakening but it was incredibly intense and filled with raw emotion. I left the auditorium thinking, "Yeah, THIS is what they meant when they made the word rapture".
13. I sing A LOT. I don't care if it makes me a tool, I adore karaoke and feel completely in my element when I have a microphone in my hand and some adoring public to clap for me when I'm finished. :)
14.The lone carrier of half my DNA is nearly fourteen, and I don't think I'll suffer from "empty nest syndrome" when he leaves. I love being his mom, but I'm looking forward to living life on my terms again when he's flown the nest.
15. Once upon a time I wanted four, five, maybe even six kids. Health and other personal issues have made me realize that having a singleton is in my best interest. Fortunately, many of my friends have kids I can love on to get my baby fix.
16. I want to go on a mission trip to India or Africa to care for orphaned children. My nearest and dearest seem to think this will result in my getting the four, five, even six kids I wanted once upon a time. ;)
17. I'm actually quite content being single. Life is less complicated when it's just you that you need to worry about making happy. This flummoxes many of the elderly women I care for, who seem to think that I'll simply wither and die without having a man to take care of.
18. The fact that I earnestly tell them I have my cats and dog to take care of means I'm well on my way to spending my golden years as the "Crazy Cat Lady" on "The Simpsons", doesn't it?
19. Oh yeah, and I knit. Game. Point.
20. I want to travel once I'm finished with school, and intend on spending my retirement in a silver Airstream trailer, making home wherever I choose to park for that day, week or month.
21. Every time I see an article about someone walking across the United States, it kind of makes me want to drop everything I'm doing and join them for part of their journey.
22. I have a great--great uncle who up and decided that taking off cross-country and not telling anyone where exactly he wanted to end up was a cool idea. My wanderlust makes me wonder if it's a genetic marker of some sort.
23. Another great-great uncle on my dad's side owned a resort in Green Lake. I guess Jean Harlowe used to vacation there. When he got drunk, he'd tell everyone what a "Bee-YOO-Tee-fol woman!" she was. My uncle Charlie used to drag out a monkey puppet and make it sing and dance when he had a few drinks in him. The preceding two facts lead me to believe that I am genetically predisposed to eccentricity and might as damn well just embrace it.
24. My brother and grandfather are the family members I relate the most to . My mother and I are so dissimilar that sometimes I wonder if I was switched at birth.
25. Icy cold, cheap beer and a plate of wings are a great way to end a day, however they don't lend to ending this entry gracefully. Oh well. Beer still good.
If you made it to the end, consider yourself tagged. Leave me a comment if you choose to do this so I can learn more about you! :)
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